Eat Some Chocolate

I saw a commercial made by Dove chocolates that made me question how I tend to go through my days. It begin with a young girl jumping out of bed at the sound of her alarm clock.  Smile on her face, looking ready to face the day.  She picks up a dress that is way too big for her, but decides that’s the one she will wear.  Hopping along down the hallway, as she gets to the door, she grabs her skateboard and helmet.  It goes on to show her in different stages of her life while Edith Piaf’s song, Non je ne regrette rien, is playing in the background. No, I won’t regret a thing.  The commercial shows her as a teen, and a young woman, and then as a mature lady with gray hair all over.  Still wearing that same teal dress, smile and daring expression in her eyes.  Through the video she was friendly and kind, and bold.  She didn’t worry about how others viewed her actions.  The commercial ends with a saying, “Live each day as if it’s the only one.”  

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I thought back to how my days typically go.  Most days I jump out of bed, not because I am joyous and ready to face the day, but because I didn’t wake up to the first two alarms.  I throw on whatever will cover up the excess stuff I have around my midsection.  (I am my own worst critic). After work, I chauffeur my children around to dance and soccer, eating on the run.   “What will the ladies at dance think if my my daughter walks in with McDonald’s instead of a salad?”  I get home and dishes are waiting or laundry that didn’t get done over the weekend needs to be done, or papers need to be graded.  I lay down feeling guilty about not working out, and I vow to wake up at 4:30 to get the workout it, because that’s doable for me. (Insert eye-roll).

We do what we can in the hustle and business of our daily lives.  So much is expected of us, whether you have children or not.  We are constantly bombarded with things we should be doing and the fear of judgement if we are not up to par.  We should be working out.  We should be eating a home cooked healthy meal.  We should be dressing ready for some social media picture.  We should be jumping out of bed at the first sound of our alarm, with a smile on our face and perfect hair. It’s too much pressure.  Our actions shouldn’t be fueled by judgement or expectations from others.  We should be doing what we love, because it’s what we LOVE.  Because it puts a smile not only on our face but all the way in the deep downs of our heart.  Genuine and real.  When we let go of other people’s’ expectations of us and forget the fear of being judged, we do what makes us happy, and we become better people.  All the energy we use on trying to fit a mold, or be what we think others want us to be, can wear a person down.  It’s heavy to carry all that around daily.  We end up irritable and tired, and with zero energy to be kind or helpful to someone in need.  Let it go.  The only opinion that really matters is the one you have of yourself.  Eat some chocolate.  Don’t regret a thing.  Live each day as if it’s the only one, and love yourself, so you can love others.

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Darn Good!

I’m just going to go ahead and say the thing that maybe I’m not supposed to say because it doesn’t sound proper. I’m a darn good mother! It might give you the impression that I have it all figured out, and that I’ve got my stuff together, which I don’t.  Most days I feel like anything but a good mom.  I don’t always follow the rules I read about in magazines or baby books.  When my son was first moved to his crib, I didn’t let him cry it out. (Gasp I know!) I didn’t wait until he cried himself to sleep, because for some reason 5 minutes felt like an hour, and I just couldn’t do it.  Instead, I went in and soothed him.  He is 13 now, and he seems to have turned out ok.  There were times when I let my daughter come in my room and snuggle with me in the middle of the night even though I “should” have walked her back to her own bed, but guess what?  She is sleeping just fine in her own bed now and I miss her cuddles.  I must admit to you that there are times when I don’t let me kids learn that very important lesson of responsibility when they have forgotten their lunch at home or shin guards for a big game.  I think you are “supposed” to let them go through the natural consequence of maybe buying the school lunch and then not eating it, or not playing at the game.  It is 100% important to me that my kids are responsible adults, yes.  But, I might run to Academy one hour before a soccer game to grab those shin guards, and then cheer my son on once the ref blows that whistle.  As far as lunch is concerned, my daughter might have gotten half of my sandwich and some of my grapes.

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I don’t do everything I am supposed to.  I do beat myself up about it sometimes, and wonder if I am doing it all wrong.  Am I messing up my kids? I replay the day in my head once my kids are asleep and I wonder if I could have done something different, or “should” I have done something another way instead.

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Yea, I don’t seem to do a lot of the things I am “suppose” to do.  I do have full on concerts in the car with my daughter after I pick her up from dance.  And I have long conversations with my son about his school day and things he wants to accomplish.  I run with him, slowly and a bit behind even though I don’t feel like it because I’d rather him not run alone at night. Even though I might break the “rules” sometimes, and make up my own.  I’m a darn good mother.  Because I’m doing the best I can the best way I can for my family.  At the end of the day, I am a darn good mother because I tried.  To all the mothers out there today, and every day, Happy Mother’s Day.  We are darn good!

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